What is a Doula?

You have heard about doulas. You wonder if they really can be a great addition to your birth team. I’m sure you’ve heard actress Amy Schumer say that her doula made her and her husband feel “secure and supported”. Or that singer/actress Letoya Luckett raved about her doula for helping her during pregnancy, labor, and postpartum. Maybe you have a friend with a doula neighbor she highly recommends. Perhaps you’ve read all of the evidence-based information about the benefits of a doula as well. I mean, all of the information is out there, right?

But what is a doula?

This is a common question that often lends itself to some variation of the following explanation: Doulas are trained in the anatomy and physiology of childbirth and provide support to laboring mothers, leading to optimal birth outcomes. Research has indicated that mothers with doulas are less likely to require medical interventions, like inductions and pain medication.

That’s helpful to know, right? But it doesn’t quite tell you what happens in doula-client relationship. So here goes! As your doula:

I want you to win. Consider me your birth bestie. From the time we decide to work together, our relationship will be very transparent and honest. I want to hear about your hopes, dreams, fears, concerns, and more. I want to know how I can help you, or if necessary, how I can help you get the resources you need. I recognize that this is an intimate time in your life, and getting to know you well means I can supplement your birth team in a meaningful way.

I help you dig through the mountains of information available online and break it down in a way that is not overwhelming and confusing. The last thing you need is to be overwhelmed or confused. We go over a myriad of topics from the day we begin working together. Why are my nipples leaking? Will I definitely develop hemorrhoids? Does walking really help progress labor? Delayed cord clamping - yay or nay? Where can I find the best pediatricians within a 5 mile radius of my job? Basically, no topic is left untouched because I ensure you have evidence-based information available to you at all times during the course of our relationship. Part of my work as a doula is to demystify the intricacies of childbirth so you know what to expect.

I help you explore your options. It’s hard to know exactly what you want during this time. You may have heard about a friend who birthed with no epidural and breezed right through it. Or you may have heard about a relative who could not have birthed without an epidural. Everyone is different and as such, I give you room to explore your options and change your mind if needed. When you are laboring, I want you to focus solely on listening to your body. And during labor, you may realize that you want to scrap your entire birth plan and go with your gut. That’s okay, too! I believe you should be fully informed so that you can make your own decisions in the moment. And that starts with you knowing your options.

I help eliminate element of surprise. Because communication is very important during this process, I will give you insight into what happens during each trimester, labor, and childbirth. How do you know if your mucus plug is falling? Why are your nipples darkening? So much to know. I do not want you to fear this process and I find the education is the key to reducing fear. I also give you information about when it is important to call the members of your birth team. And it’s okay if a call ends up being a false alarm! I just want to hear what’s happening and how you’re feeling.

I care about you. During most of our conversations, I just listen to you talk about everything from your thoughts to your feelings. And it’s not my place to pass judgment. I will validate how you’re feeling as your doula. I do not mind listening to you talk about whether that new crib will be delivered in time or that you’re worried you’ll be in the middle of the supermarket when your water breaks. Call, text, or email me whenever.

I do not pass judgment. I get it - some questions feel embarrassing. But they are not. I can assure you that I have heard it all. And if I have legitimate concerns, you will hear me say, “does your doctor or midwife know this is happening?”…because all members of your birth team need to be on the same page. But if you want to know if it is normal to want to refrain from sex during the third trimester or if you want to know why it is you’re going around cleaning the house from top to the bottom the week before your due date, I’m happy to answer.

I have your back. I know, I know. Sounds cliche, but it’s true. When you are laboring in a birth space, I recognize that you may, at times, feel exposed. Particularly if you end up birthing in a hospital, I know that you may meet many new people at once and it can feel overwhelming. So I work hard to keep you comfortable and focused. And if your doctor or midwife is explaining something to you that might be unfamiliar, I watch your body language so I can calmly step in to support when needed. I help you find the words for the questions that you need answered so you can explore your options with your partner, if applicable. I encourage you to take your time when making decisions while in labor as well.

I am calm. When it feels like there’s commotion, I remain cool as a cucumber. So if you are at the transition point and feel you cannot continue, I will remind you that you can. That your body was made to do this. That every contraction brings you closer and closer to your baby. I will keep the atmosphere light, when appropriate, so you can feel at ease.

I provide support from beginning to end when you are in labor. Whether you need another popsicle (cherry, not orange, please!), an extra pillow or two under your back, the gentle shift of a rebozo, double hip squeezes, or another blanket because you are chilly, I am there. I have a handy tool kit just for you with unused lip balm, lotion, and more. I remind you to not hold your breath during contractions and to let your body do what it needs to do because I believe in you strength. You’re the star of the show. The captain of this ship. I’m honored you chose me to be by your side.

I respect the other members of your birth team. From your doctor or midwife to your nurses…they are all there for you as am I. And I give them the space to work as they must. Which means when your nurse comes in for blood work, I will respectfully stand to the side. Or when they want to recommend a position to help your baby’s descent, I’ll be in full support. We are a team and must function as one.

I love seeing you in a brand new role as a parent. I really do. I welcome this time. I also want you to know that you do not have to do this alone. As your doula, I am happy to provide information and also provide postpartum care at home so you can catch up on your sleep.

I hope this answers the question: “what is a doula"?”. I hope I provided you with greater clarity as to if you might want one on your birth team. If you want to reach out and see if we are a good fit, I’d love to hear from you. You can contact me via my website, via email at hello@ailabirthvillage.com, or by clicking the button below!